I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
