How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
