: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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