wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
