can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
