you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
