I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
should my penis look like a turkey
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
