Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
