mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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