My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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