You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
