we made out on top of his cat.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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