Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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