The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
