Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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