so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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