I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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