Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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