I cockslap morals
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
