Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
