he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
