In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
