the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
