even my farts smell like vagina
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize