What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
this just has baby written all over it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
