I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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