I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
