hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
