Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
