The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
