Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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