oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
