you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
