She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
