omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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