I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
