dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
