"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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