hotel room ftw
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
