One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
