remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
only you would photoshop your dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I believe in your delicious
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
