dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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