I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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