Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
