yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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