Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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