Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
