cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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