was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
