we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
