New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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