Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it was like eating out sand paper
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
