I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
