haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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