You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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