They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
