Betty ford says i'm here all night
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
