So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
