And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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